Childhood abuse

It is believed that around 75% of people with BPD have been through some form of childhood abuse.

Forms of abuse

Physical abuse - Any non-accidental injury to a child. This includes hitting, kicking, slapping, shaking, burning, pinching, hair pulling, biting, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping, and paddling.

Sexual abuse - Any sexual act between an adult and child. This includes fondling, penetration, intercourse, exploitation, pornography, exhibitionism, child prostitution, group sex, oral sex, or forced observation of sexual acts.

Neglect - Failure to provide for a child's physical needs. This includes lack of supervision, inappropriate housing or shelter, inadequate provision of food, inappropriate clothing for season or weather, abandonment, denial of medical care, and inadequate hygiene.

Emotional abuse - Any attitude or behavior which interferes with a child's mental health or social development. This includes yelling, screaming, name-calling, shaming, negative comparisons to others, telling them they are "bad, no good, worthless" or "a mistake". It also includes the failure to provide the affection and support necessary for the development of a child's emotional, social, physical and intellectual well-being. This includes ignoring, lack of appropriate physical affection (hugs), not saying "I love you", withdrawal of attention, lack of praise, and lack of positive reinforcement

Witnessing domestic violence - Children can be traumatized by hearing or seeing their parents being verbally abused, sexually abused, assaulted or murdered.

Child abuse and neglect can affect all domains of development - physical, psychological, cognitive, behavioural and social - which are often interrelated.

Experiencing chronic and multiple types of abuse and neglect are related to greater maladjustment and negative outcomes for children.

Childhood traumatic events classiﬁed as Type I include severe accident, natural disasters, witnessing a death orserious injury, single-incident rape, single-incident sexual molestation, physical assault, and being threatened with a weapon. Type II events include repeated rape, repeated sexual molestation, physical abuse, and neglect.

Individuals who have experienced any type of trauma (Type I or Type II) as children have reportedly higher levels of neuroticism and openness to new experiences than persons not victimized as children.

Child trauma victims, regardless of the type and duration of the trauma, are likely to be higher in traits such as tension, nervousness, irritability, insecurity, and emotionality than persons not victimized as children.

Child trauma victims are likely to be higher in traits such as curiosity, creativity, open-mindedness and cleverness....although this may sound positive, the curiosity and openness traits in particular, increases the risk for re-victimization

Having a history of child sexual abuse has been found to increase the probability that the victim will engage in risky behaviors, which, in turn, increases the chance that future victimization's will occur.

Self Esteem--self doubt, self blame, shame.

Self Sabotage--self destructive or self mutilating behavior.

Sexual Problems--sexual inhibition or promiscuity, flashbacks to abusive experiences during sexual contact, inability to achieve orgasm, pain or numbing during intimacy.

Symptoms of Trauma--feelings of fear, panic, agitation, anxiety, numbing of bodily areas, nightmares, multiple personalities, feelings of being disconnected from body.

Physical Ailments--includes psychosomatic illnesses, stomachaches, eating disorders, skin disorders, asthma, headaches and phobias.

Social Alienation--feeling different from others, not accepted, stigmatized.

Difficulty in Handling Feelings--trouble in recognizing, managing and appropriately expressing feelings.

Impact of child abuse on the adult survivors.

Overcoming childhood abuse.

Know that it wasn't your fault. One thing that is important to know is that your abuser is the one that is broken inside -not you. You did nothing to deserve being mistreated.

Realize that it may take a lot of time to overcome being abused. Be patient with yourself. It will take time to build up your self esteem,release your feelings of being hurt by allowing yourself to cry if you feel you want to.

Seek a referral from your doctor to a professional therapist / counselor - A counselor can lead you through the fear, pain and confusion of your abusive experience and guide you supportively along the path of recovery. Don’t see this as a weakness, but rather another step towards liberation from your hurtful past.

Recovery is very difficult to achieve by yourself,surround yourself with supportive people. Walk away from toxic people that drain you of energy. If you begin to date someone and you recognize traits of abuse, cut off all communication with them.

Self Help Groups can provide a good support system for someone going through the self exploration process involved in recovery. Hearing others recount their experiences of abuse will help you validate your own feelings and allow you to feel less alone with what you have been through.

You must learn to love yourself so that you can set high standards for your current/ future relationships. Spend time getting to know what you enjoy or what you would like to set as life goals. Knowing yourself will help you find a place to fit in, beliefs and morals can be rediscovered or found and will help you move forward from the person you were during the abuse.

Release pent-up anger and frustration.
Write, paint, exercise, dance , do whatever you can to express how you feel in a constructive and positive way.

Empower yourself. If you are like many people that have suffered emotional abuse, you have thought of yourself as the victim for far too long. Make a decision at this very moment that you are going to view yourself as a survivor. Your abuser has carved into your mind that he is the one with all of the control. This is not true. The moment that you see that you are in full control of your own thoughts and emotions, you will slowly begin to regain back your self-esteem.