“I'm like an empty shell lying on the beach, void of life and purpose."

 

 

This BPD symptom is present in approximately 71–73% of people diagnosed but still very little is known about it as it is difficult to define and assess those presenting with these feelings.

 

It is thought that it is closely linked to the unstable sense of self of BPD - (see Identity Disturbance in the ‘notes’ section); Others suggest that it may be bordom related and due to a lack of seemlingly fulfilling roles or activities in the individuals life. 

 

For those who experience it it can lead them to feel something vital to existence is missing, a huge void needs to be filled, that life has little worth or significance. It can be a very surreal experience for some people as they are unable feel anything, just numbness and lack the ability to even cry or feel happy, and many will engage in negative and dangerous behaviours such as drugs, alcohol or self harm in an attempt to feel something - anything.

 

Some feel guilty/ashamed/confused about this emptiness as many have partners, a job, children, friends, but yet still don’t feel statisfied with their ‘lot in life’.For fear of hurting others feelings they may try to deal with this alone and increase their social/intimate isolation, which in turn adds to their dissatisfaction with life.

 

 So, are there ways to help “fill the void?”

 

 There are certianly things that we can try! Some may not work at all, some may only provide tempory relief , others may just be the “missing piece” of your jig-saw - the only way to find out is to try!

 

 For some the answer may be therapy (DBT, Counselling etc.) to help realize what aspect it is that you need to focus on.

 

 Try filling your life with things that are enjoyable and interesting and healthy for you on some level - maybe something creative or physically/interlectually stimulating.

 

For some people religion/spirituality may be important so maybe try prayer or meditation.

 

Make a list of distracting activities you can focus on - as with many aspects of BPD, the emptiness feeling will subside eventually so try to remember that it will pass...(also another great reason to not act impulsivly as you may regret some dicisions!)

 

Volunteering is a wonderful way to increase your self worth, self esteem, make new friends and help others. 

 

For me, it helps if I have something to look forward to and to plan for, - B’days, Christmas, Halloween, camping, anything! -  as it gives me a sense of purpose.

 

Another one I found helpful was to find a cause or hobby that can help give you a sense of belonging in a wider community. For me it was this page and you awesome people that gave me a ‘place to belong’ in a world where I never felt I fit in to and I hope in some small way it has done the same for you too <3 ~ Emma.